Thoughts on 2 Timothy 2

This afternoon, I was asked to lead a Bible study discussion on 2 Timothy 2:1-13. These are a few of the thoughts that I came up with as I was preparing…

My child

-          The emphasis is not on us, but on Him. He is God, the Almighty, the Creator…and we are his, naturally, His possession because the Creator always owns his creation. But in a much more personal level—he claims us not as mere objects, but as children. This alone is evidence of the grace seen in the next phrase.

Be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus

-          Grace is by definition unmerited favor; it is getting what we don’t deserve. You have to recognize grace to be strengthened by grace. If we go about our every-day lives focusing only on what is in front of us, not looking for the hand of God, remembering who He is and what He has done, if we are ungrateful, we miss out on grace. As a result, we walk around stuck in the mud of self-pity, stressed, burnt-out, and unaware of the grace being bestowed on us.

-          I think it is also important to realize that grace does not eliminate suffering: J.C. Ryle says of this: “If we are true Christians, we must not expect everything smooth in our journey to heaven. We must count it no strange thing, if we have to endure sicknesses, losses, bereavements, and disappointments, just like other people. Free pardon and full forgiveness, grace by the way and glory to the end – all this our Savior has promised to give. But He has never promised that we shall have no afflictions. He loves us too well to promise that. By affliction He teaches us many precious lessons, which without it we should never learn. By affliction He shows us our emptiness and weakness, draws us to the throne of grace, purifies our affections, weans us from the world and makes us long for heaven. In the resurrection morning we shall all say, ‘it is good for me that I was afflicted.’ [Psalm 119:71] We shall thank God for every storm.”

-          How does grace strengthen us?

Faithful men who are able to teach others also

-          The gospel is meant to be transmitted generationally. Paul learned from Christ and the other disciples. Paul taught Timothy. Timothy is supposed to teach faithful men. The faithful men are supposed to teach others. This is the essence of discipleship. Walk with Christ. Learn and grow. But as you are learning and growing, do it with someone. Teach someone else what you are learning. Educational psychologists noted years ago that people learn best by teaching others. That’s nothing new to Christ. Why else did he tell the people of Israel in the Old Testament to teach the law to their children? Why did he tell the disciples to go and teach others?

-          The world mocks those who continually take in calories and food and never expend any. Proverbs calls them gluttons. Eventually their intake will harm them physically. Spiritually, the analogy holds true as well. Those who are continually fed the truth but never share with others will be stagnated in their spiritual growth.

Share in suffering

-          It’s totally appropriate to acknowledge our pain and suffering. For example, “I’m really hurting.  This is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through.”  Or, “I feel like God has abandoned me,” or “It’s hard to see any good in this.” The Psalmists expressed their pain, like David did in Psalm 22: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. (1,2) I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast; my strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws; you lay me in the dust of death. (14, 15) David felt forsaken. Yet almost without exception, after David mourns his afflictions, he goes on to express confidence in God: Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.  In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them.  To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame. (3-5) In other words, though I’m suffering you are holy.  And you’re on your throne.  No one’s ever been disappointed by trusting you. David says, “Lord, I’m suffering here.  I don’t understand why you don’t answer my prayers.  Yet I know you’re trustworthy and you hear my cries and in the end I’ll praise you.” We need God’s grace to do this. His grace strengthens us. Express your pain honestly.  But frame your pain with the with biblical truth of God’s character.  That’s how we glorify God. (From The Blazing Center)

Soldiers, Athletes, and Farmers

-          Goal of a soldier: Please the King

-          Method of a soldier: Focus on the goal

-          Method of an athlete: Follow the rules

-          Method of a farmer: Work hard

-          This verse has at times been used as a call away from “secular” pursuits in business, athletics, or otherwise. The Bible, however, does not allow Christians to separate life into distinct realms, “spiritual” and “secular.” All of life is to be lived spiritually, in obedience to the Spirit according to the Word of God. Paul is warning Timothy here, not to avoid so-called secular activities, but to not allow distractions, even spiritual distractions, to keep him from coming before the throne of grace, finding time to fall in love with the Savior, and discipling others. When good things take the place of “best” things, even they become idols and therefore sin in our lives.

Remember the Gospel

“Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them, but they start talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking? Your self is talking to you. Now this man’s treatment was this; instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. ‘Why art thou cast down, O my soul?’ he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he stands up and says: ‘Self, listen for a moment, I will speak to you.’…The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself. You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. You must say to your soul: ‘Why art thou cast down’– what business have you to be disquieted? You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself: ‘Hope thou in God’– instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged Himself to do. Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: ‘I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God.’” –D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

-  C.J. Mahaney – “if there’s anything in life that we should be passionate about, it’s the gospel. And I don’t mean passionate only about sharing it with others. I mean passionate about thinking about it, dwelling on it, rejoicing in it, allowing it to color the way we look at the world. Only one thing can be of first importance to each of us. And only the Gospel ought to be.”

Background

As I titled this post, I was reminded of one of my favorite songs is “I Can Play the Background” by Lecrae. The connection seemed arbitrary at first, but as I thought about the lyrics, the association became clearer. The second verse says:

I had a dream that I was captain of my soul
I was master of my fate, lost control. and then I sank
So I don’t want to take the lead, ’cause I’m prone to make mistakes
All the folks who follow me, going end up in the wrong place
So let me just shadow you, let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
‘Cause if I do this by myself, I’m scared that I’ll succeed
And no longer trust in you, ’cause I only trust in me
And see, that’s how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothing
You pulled my card, I’m bluffing, You know what’s in my hand
Me, I’m just going to trust you, You cause the dice to land
I’m in control of nothing, follow you at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
Man, I’m so at ease, I’m so content
I’ll play the background, like it’s an instrument

Here, Lecrae expresses one of my greatest fears: to focus so much on my own plans that I no longer listen to God or trust in Him. I am excited about beginning this adventure of an Associate with New Tribes Mission because it will force me to trust Him completely. Nearly a month ago, I was shocked into stunned silence when a random stranger dropped a hundred dollar bill into my hand to support my move to Papua New Guinea. Last weekend, I meandered into an opportunity to share God’s testimony in my life leading me towards missions to a hundred high school and college students. Monday was my first day teaching full-time in a position that by all logical and expected paths, should never have opened and I should never have gotten. Day after day God pours out blessing into my life in unexpected, miraculous ways and asks me only to trust Him. His plans are so much bigger than mine—I can’t even fathom what He has in store for me!

While all of that is very cool and excites me to think about and share, it was not the original intention of this post. Because I am beginning a journey that I want each of you to be a part of, I want you to know what it is I am doing and with whom. Some of that I may have shared in bits and pieces over time, but this post will hopefully bring it all together. (If you are interested in the “why,” see “Application 2012,” where I explained why I want to be a missionary.)

What 

In July, it is my intention to travel to Papua New Guinea where I will be living and working for the next two to four years. I will be teaching high school and middle school English at Numonohi Christian Academy, a school for missionary kids. As an Associate with New Tribes Mission, I will be joining the other missionaries at the school in teaching approximately 180 students grades K-12 who represent ten different countries. The purpose of NCA is to glorify God and to assist in the establishing of indigenous tribal churches throughout PNG by supporting parents in providing a Christ-centered education for their children. I am privileged and excited to have the opportunity to join in the work of tribal missions in this supporting role.

Who 

I will be serving under the head of New Tribes Mission. Their primary purpose is the planting of tribal churches. Of the world’s 6,500 people groups, 2,500 are still unreached. New Tribes Mission helps local churches train, coordinate and send missionaries to these tribes. These tribes’ cultures and languages have isolated them from the Gospel, thus requiring missionaries to learn their language and understand their culture in order to clearly present the Gospel and effectively plant a church. Through chronological Bible teaching and following the pattern seen in Acts as God’s people carried out the Great Commission, missionaries seek to establish mature churches that can take their rightful place as agents of change in their own communities and partners in the Great Commission.

As importantly, I am also serving with you. I firmly believe that I will only be working in Papua New Guinea as a representative of the Body of Christ. In 2010, when I traveled to Papua New Guinea for the first time on Interface, the most incredible experience of the entire month was worshiping God with believers from around the world. When we joined together in song, with Simbari voices, German voices, English voices, and American voices, it was the Body of Christ worshiping our Savior as one. (For a more extensive description of this and other Interface experiences, check out all my Interface posts.) It is my desire that my ministry teaching would only be an extension of the Body of Christ. It is for that reason, that I aim to update friends and family around the world as often as possible, keeping the Body aware of the stories God is weaving in and through my life for His glory.

If anyone still has questions, I would love to answer them as much as possible either publicly on the blog, or privately through e-mail, Facebook, the phone, or in person! If you hadn’t already noticed, I get pretty excited talking and writing about this… God is so good!

Associate!

The Lord continues to bless my path before I walk it! Today marks the culmination of my first full week teaching as a paid employee! In addition, I received a call during lunch notifying me that I have been accepted as an Associate Missionary with New Tribes Mission, allowing me to begin the process of going to Papua New Guinea in July. In the next few months, I will need to raise support, apply for a visa/work permit, go to Pre-Field Orientation (late June/early July), and eventually, arrange flights to Papua New Guinea. It is an exciting time, but also a lot to think about. I appreciate your prayers as I begin this journey and plan on writing a more detailed update as I learn more what will be required over the next few months.

Reflecting on Interface

I loved Interface! This past weekend, I traveled to Pennsylvania for the first-ever offical ITF reunion. I left encouraged, challenged, and renewed with a passion for mission here and abroad, but especially for the unreached people of the world. Last week, just before I left for the reunion, my representative at NTM asked me what I learned and valued from my time at Interface. For those of you read this blog back when I was at Interface, much of this will seem over-simplified. It is. If you have not read about my experiences at Interface, the “Interface” category of posts includes the real-time posts from PNG in 2010 and everything PNG-related from the past two years. That being said, here was my response:

For me, Interface was the confirmation of a “maybe.” A friend had been influencing me to develop an interest in teaching overseas; when I was at ITF, I was able to visit Numonohi and said “yes.” The other major thing that ITF did for me was give me a deeper understanding of tribal missions. Many of the day-to-day experiences and lessons that I learned while there are chronicled on my blog. If I had to choose just two things that I learned while there to transition into my prospective service at NCA (the school in PNG that I will be teaching at), it would be to focus on the Lord, not just the work at hand, and to pray desperately. Specifically, I remember Clayton Brown’s closing message the day before we flew back to the U.S. He exhorted us to focus on the Lord because anything else will put you out of balance. Because missionaries have to leave the field for various reasons, if their focus is not on the Lord, there will be issues. As such, I aim to throw off everything that hinders, throw off the sin that so easily entangles, and fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith. Why? Simply for the sake of Christ, for the sake of those who have yet to hear, and because the time is short. Clayton also urged us to begin now to make choices that will prepare us for future service. I have to admit I have not always done that, but when I have, have seen the overwhelming benefits of following that advice. The second thing, prayer, was not something I necessarily “learned” at ITF, but is something that was addressed during our training. Perhaps it stands out now because I have just been doing an informal study on prayer, reading Paul Miller’s A Praying Life, attempting to prioritize prayer in my life, and watching Francis Chan’s “Basics: Prayer” message with my volleyball Bible study group. I certainly believe that prayer is vital anywhere, but especially in times of increased stress or weakness.

Caffeine and a Message

Most people would question my sanity if informed that I drove through the night for the sole purpose of stopping to visit old friends prior to attending a mission trip reunion. Perhaps, rightly so. When I arrived at Miracle Mountain Ranch at 5 a.m., I took a short nap, unaffected by the overdose of caffeine in my bloodstream. The rest of the day, I mingled with staff and students, renewing old friendships and making new friendships. When I greeted Matt Cox in the office, I discovered that I was to follow him directly into class with the S.A.L.T. (Servant Attitude Leadership Training) students and share my testimony of what God has been doing in my life over the last few months. His words were, “Are you read to preach or perish?” I had no idea that I would be able to share with the S.A.L.T. students and apprentices, but I was ready! I would have driven the seven hours to the Ranch just for that opportunity alone. I was able to share about my Interface experience in Papua New Guinea several years ago, about God’s faithfulness in providing for my college tuition (and everything else), about an unexpected graduation date and teaching license approval, a miraculous $100 donation, and a teaching job from nowhere. When I finished, I questioned if anyone could understand me; after all, I was confused at what I said. The caffeine may not have kept me from sleeping, but it certainly affected by mental processes. Talking in circles and at high speeds was unavoidable. Matt then shared from Scripture about the necessity of being open to wherever God leads. As I sat in the back of the room, I realized that I had skipped one part: the battle and struggles of “what if this isn’t it?” Just before I applied for the Associate position with NTM, I asked myself if going to Papua New Guinea was really God’s plan for me, or if it was just my plan—something I wanted to do because it would be cool. I battled with that question, knowing that yes, there were a lot of things that attracted me to Papua New Guinea, that yes, God has seemed to be opening doors, and that I now had opportunity. Then I had to ask myself, “How would I react if God said ‘no’ and closed all doors to PNG?” After realizing that I would be content to teach here in the U.S., or anywhere else God led me to, knowing that His will is exactly the best place for me to be, I continued filling out the application, confident that if God wanted me in Papua New Guinea in July 2012, He would make sure it happened. If he wanted me home another year, or indefinitely, that too would come to pass.

As a side note, my visit at the Ranch and time at the Interface Reunion were well-worth the driving—I returned home tonight spiritually and emotionally refreshed, despite physical exhaustion. Tomorrow is my first day as a long-term substitute teacher at Carroll High School! I’m so excited…. =D

Update on Meredith

The latest update:

After physical therapists evaluated Meredith yesterday, she has made a lot of progress! Susan found her sitting up in a recliner, she walked down the hallway and back, dressed in regular clothes, and thoroughly enjoyed visitors today, even after she was visibly tired.

Meredith still has most of her beautiful, VERY long hair, but being on bedrest for two weeks has added quite a few tangles. An aid took her into a treatment room yesterday, before her surgery and worked on a section of hair FOR FIVE HOURS, smoothing and removing tangles. That part has been braided again. When her head is not tender from yesterday’s surgery, they will finish the process with the remaining strands.

The best news is that she seems to be recovering some of her short term memory! Today she remembered the aid who worked on her hair. She also told Susan that she didn’t need to re-read a card to her because she saw that one yesterday. God is in the healing business!

May God bless you for caring and praying!

Running Behind

I hate the feeling of being behind! Embedded deep within me is a desire to fulfill everyone’s expectations, and even to exceed them. When I do not get things done on time, or do them half-way, it is frustrating to me. This week has been a whirlwind of unorganized chaos! The exciting and grand news is that I got a full-time teaching job for the remainder of the school year! Thus, I expected to be playing “catch-up” once I start teaching next Monday. I did not anticipate the insanity of this week. Monday and Tuesday I painted at a funeral home in Bluffton all day, then completed Liberty University Online Writing Center tutoring requests and worked on Training for Triumph typesetting around Campus Life and volleyball league in the evening. Entering edits for Training for Triumph is typically a fairly simple job, but this week has seemed as if a tornado blew through each document, causing Quark to crash repeatedly, documents to corrupt, and my attention span to crumble into minute particles. Wednesday, I substitute taught at Northside high school, led middle school small group at Pathway, completed more tutoring requests, fixed dinner, graded papers for the class I start teaching on Monday (that the teacher who is leaving did not have time to finish), and worked on the Quark documents some more. Even though I had managed to get almost as many hours in on Quark as any other week, the document I had hoped to finish by Tuesday was only half-finished when I stopped for the night. I felt like I was letting Donna down by not finishing this document as quickly as I had finished others. I felt like I was letting my small group girls down because I left as soon as we finished in order to get grading done. I felt like I was letting Dad and the boys down because I didn’t make dinner the first two nights, and last night’s dinner came from a box. I felt like I was letting myself done because I haven’t made time to exercise and keep my body in shape. There just isn’t enough time in the day (or night) to accomplish everything, which means I need to make priorities. By time I made it to bed last night, it was already morning. Not what I was planning. I leave tonight around midnight for a weekend in Pennsylvania at a Interface class reunion, and was hoping to get some sleep to hold me through the drive.

Amongst the excessive busy-ness of this week, I have been amazed at God’s grace. I have enjoyed some beautiful times of prayer, scattered throughout my day. I am reminded continually of Philippians 4:7:

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

It is only when life defies our attempts at organization, our vain grasping at rest, and the physical limits of our body that we truly understand peace. Peace is not the absence of trouble. It is the quiet confidence in a sovereign God in the middle of the virtual hurricane blowing through our day.

(Sorry for the rambling at the top…I think I’m still a little tired.) =D

Praying for Meredith

For those of you who are joining me in prayer for Meredith, the latest update is that she has been diagnosed with Stage 3 brain cancer. The prognosis is not great. Surgery was done on Monday to remove 1/3 of the tumor (all that they could safely remove). The remaining tumor needs immediate treatment as it will quickly grow back. Doctors recommend starting radiation within a month, with concurrent chemotherapy. A portion of the removed tumor will be analyzed. Depending on the results, her condition could be downgraded to stage 4, where the prognosis is grim.

Please pray that God would be glorified through this. Pray for her parents, as they are exhausted and faced with some huge decisions. The enormous cost of Meredith’s treatment weighs heavily, but hundreds of thousands of dollars will not help what only God can do.

Heavy Weight

Many times, I put off writing a blog post until I find some gleam of hope or sense victory. After all, who wants to read about defeat, or worse yet, a quitter? With blessing after blessing being poured into my life, I found writing this post even harder than normal. The Lord continues to flood me with good gifts, yet I am quitting. As a side note, when I first wrote this post, I had not yet heard of Meredith’s diagnosis. In comparison, my current “battles” are minor, insignificant, and irrelevant–to the extent that I nearly abandoned posting this altogether. Please, please, please if you pray for anything, pray for Meredith. 

Around Thanksgiving of last year, I slowly decreased my workout regimen. I went from lifting weights and daily volleyball conditioning to a few push-ups and pull-ups a week. The change wreaked havoc on my body. In less than a month, I gained twenty pounds. I went from being somewhat “in shape” to being drastically out of shape and overweight. I have never been thin; my body has always been well-padded with fat. This, however, is extreme. I am disgusted with my added weight and how my clothes fit now. Even in this, I have found grace. If I had gained this weight in October, I would have plunged into depression. At the time, I was already struggling with my identity, and this would have tipped the scales. God graciously allowed me to handle the weight gain with at least borderline common sense instead of reacting emotionally as I once might have.

One would think I would just start dieting or working out again and the problem would be solved. Unfortunately, the problem is much deeper than that. It is an issue of self-discipline. For over a year, I worked out consistently, even running a sprint triathlon in May. Last August, I started working harder than ever, with a goal of dropping ten to fifteen pounds and increasing my jump and strength specifically for volleyball. As a part of that, I started attempting to eat healthier. As usual, an overwhelming lack of self-discipline brought defeat and discouragement. I see two major issues with this: (1) the Lord commands us to treat our bodies as His temples, and (2) a lack of self-discipline in what I eat physically only feeds a lack of self-discipline in what I feed myself spiritually.

I will admit right now, that I don’t have the answers. Of course, I know how to eat healthy and workout consistently. What I don’t know is how to develop self-discipline (spiritually and physically). I also don’t know how I will lose the twenty pounds that I gained in two weeks. Admittedly, the “busy-ness” of life pushes aside my need to eat right and exercise. Every time that the weather calls me to get outside and run, I find myself bogged down with work, school, or just plain tiredness. If I allow these excuses for exercising, what kind of excuses am I allowing spiritually?

This post may seem incomplete, because it is. There is no real conclusion to this story…its just where I’m at right now.

Please Pray!

Please join me in prayer for Meredith, a seventeen year old girl who attends my local church in Fort Wayne. Last week, her parents took her to the emergency room after a prolonged severe headache. At Parkview, they determined that the pain was the result of a brain tumor. Due to her age and the abnormality of the tumor, she was transferred to Riley, where a MRI last night revealed that the tumor is malignant and fast-growing. The doctor and various specialists gave her parents several options, but do not seem to have a “best solution.” Meredith’s parents have asked for prayers for wisdom. They stated that they know God orchestrated all of this from the beginning and that He has a plan for Meredith. Yet, we must pray that they and the doctors will know and choose God’s plan, and that He will be glorified.