Yesterday morning, as I was reading several chapters out of the Psalms, God impressed on my heart the need to claim the confidence of His character for my day. The verse He gave me was Psalm 100:5 – “For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever; and His faithfulness to all generations.” Interesting, I thought, since the few days preceding had weighed increasingly heavy on my heart. A little black rain cloud was gathering over my soul and I knew not how to regain proper orientation.
Crying as I walked down the road to get my horses out of a neighboring field, I knew something was wrong. I don’t typically cry, and when I do cry, there is usually a reason. This time, all I knew was that I felt as if I was being crushed by some unknown burden. For the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever; and His faithfulness to all generations. Though I knew nothing else, but that the Lord was good and the Lord was sovereign, it was enough. In frustration, I poured out my heart to the Savior. In response, He poured His Word upon my thirsty soul. 1 Peter 2:9 – “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for [My] own possession, that you may proclaim [My excellencies]…who called you out of darkness into [My] marvelous light.” I am His. I was created for His pleasure. I was designed with a purpose, because the Lord of the universe delights in me. Overwhelmed with the significance of this, I began to cry all over again, this time out of sheer awe of the love of the God who so carefully holds me in the palm of His hand.
What I had ceased to remember was that God had redeemed from the darkness and had set me in the kingdom of light. To find my direction, all I needed to do was look to the Savior. To look anywhere else for my bearings was only foolishness. I love the writings of John Calvin, as he explains so clearly the all-compassing nature of Christ to meet our every need. He writes, “We see that our whole salvation and all its parts are comprehended in Christ. We should therefore take care not to derive the least portion of it from anywhere else. If we seek salvation, we are taught by the very name of Jesus that it is ‘of him.’ If we seek any other gifts of the Spirit, they will be found in his anointing. If we seek strength, it lies in his dominion; if purity, in his conception; if gentleness, it appears in his birth…If we see redemption, it lies in his passion; if acquittal, in his condemnation; if remission of the curse, in his cross; if satisfaction, in his sacrifice; if purification in his blood; if reconciliation, in his descent into hell; if mortification of the flesh, in his tomb; if newness of life, in his resurrection; if immortality, in the same; if inheritance of the Heavenly Kingdom, in his entrance into heaven; if protection, if security, if abundant supply of all blessings, in his Kingdom; if untroubled expectation of judgment, in the power given him to judge. In short, since rich store of every kind of good abounds in him, let us drink our fill from this fountain, and from no other.”
Just a few mornings before, I had read Proverbs 24:13-14 for not the first time. Yet for the first time, I saw its significance. “My son, eat honey, for it is good, and the drippings of the honeycomb are sweet to your taste. Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” The blessings of the Lord, they are sweet to my soul. The Lord did not only create us for His own pleasure, but He designed us that we might find our greatest delight in Him. Under my little black storm cloud, I had ceased to find joy in the things of God because I had ceased to find joy in God Himself. My eyes had drifted unknowingly from the cross, so that my only cry was one of desperation. With the Psalmist, I clung to God as my only hope. “My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.” (Psalm 63:8). Were it not for that promise, I felt as if I were falling without hope of rescue. But I know that it is God who holds me in the palm of His hand. Why then was my soul downcast? Summoning myself to take hope in God, though the tears did not ebb, I stood firm in the knowledge that my Redeemer is faithful and true. He is mighty to save, and He holds me with a love that will not let me go and that I cannot be separated from. It was the longing of my heart to once again enjoy the sweetness of delighting in my Savior.
I was at the end of the rope, weary, cast down, and about to give up. Yet God was faithful. The God who loves to give good gifts unto His children has given unto me liberally. The joy I have found once again in Him fills me with an uncontainable excitement. I wrote tonight in my journal, “Oh Lord, You are so good! I am just in awe of You Father, Lord, mighty God. It is as if a dullness of spirit had crept over me and that now the curtain has been torn away and I have seen the Light again. Father, You are great and glorious. You truly are faithful to sustain, to lift up, to guide, protect, and give life. Thank You Jesus!”
“But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31).
 Calvin, John. (Inst., II.xvi.19).