“And the Lord said to Satan, ‘Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil.'”
In all honesty, I question if I want to be that “different.” Where is the fun in being perfect? I know that is a horrible thought, but could Job go bridge-jumping with a clear conscience? Would he even be able to play sports “just for the fun of it” or to win? I don’t know. More and more, the “good Christian life” seems to be represented by the ascetic scholar–which to me seems nothing short of absolute drudgery. Maybe I don’t really love God like I claim to… In short, I’m just not sure how to live my life and love God at the same time. I like to have fun, play hard, and even attempt some crazy stunts, but I’m not seeing any room for “fun” in Scripture. There are no instances of Paul, David, or even 8 year old King Josiah going and stacking unused picnic tables into a harmless pyramid for fun, or even of taking days to just “enjoy life” by biking, hiking, or swimming. Is fun even “allowed”? Oh Lord! Have I been lost to the pleasures of this world?! Have I been trusting you with my heart and denying you by my enjoyment of the present life? Your Word tells me that it is impossible to love both you and the world–and, oh, I am torn! I know the “right answer,” I know that you are the choice which I must make, but the day to day living out of it…seems only misery to me.
“There is a way that seems good to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
Oh God, is that me?! Is this crazy, fun-loving personality leading me straight into the clutches of death? Oh Lord, I don’t know! But I do…I just don’t like it. Give me the grace, the strength, the wisdom to make the right choice to live for you alone.