The Unknown

Last week, I copied a quote from a friend’s Facebook page about trusting God. The quote first caught my attention not just because it was by Oswald Chambers, or because I thought it was about solid biblical truth, but because I often struggle to trust God. When I’m faced with the unknown, I stress out, freak out, and throw trust out the window. The decision to pursue going to Papua New Guinea, with a departure date as early as July, freaks me out. “What if?” questions flood my mind. The possibility of a job at a local high school seems more probably than ever. I really enjoy working with Campus Life, leading a middle school small group at church, and just hanging out with students who want to develop a personal relationship with Christ. There is an awesome gang of college kids that I finally feel a connection with. None of these things are bad. None of these things are truly “distractions” or hindrances from leaving in July. They are equally good things with as much potential to give God glory, but I have to choose. I have to do one or the other next year. I can’t do both. The future–as soon as July–is completely unknown. At this point, nothing is sure. My prayer is not that I would choose the “best” thing; I don’t think that is a truth. My prayer is that I would trust. I don’t have to pray for God to lead–I know He will. I am so thankful that I serve an incredible, awesome, and personal God who is intensely concerned with my heart, who faithfully leads me, and gives grace even when I fail to trust Him.

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