Now that I’m working full-time again, the arrival of a three-day weekend is a cause for great excitement and anticipation. Labor Day weekend 2012 came laden with expectation: a friend flying in from Utah, wakeboarding at the lake, bicycle rides, soaking up the sun at Warren Dunes, trail riding, and sand volleyball. Then there was Isaac. Uninvited, Isaac drizzled into my weekend plans, forcing extended periods of just hanging around the house. Relaxing is one of those things that I’m just not very good at. My throttle has two speeds: on and off. Either I’m going full-speed ahead or I’m sleeping. This weekend, I had to learn to just chillax.
Chillaxin’. Its an interesting idea. The ever-credible Urban Dictionary offers this definition: “Way-far laid back. Chillin’ & relaxin’ at the same time. An extreme state of contentedness. Good vibes.” Without knowing this, I recently named my newest iTunes playlist “Chillaxin’.” The playlist is packed full of Tigerweather, Coldplay, The Icarus Account, and a few other random artists that help me relax whether I’m riding the motorcycle, pumping the pedals of a bicycle, grading papers, or just hanging out. I suppose it helps induce a state of contentedness?
Speaking of being content, the Lord has led me to a place where I am clearly content where I am, though I still have a distinct desire to go to Papua New Guinea. For months, the tension between desire and contentment waged war in my mind. How can two things, equally good, be so opposed to one another? Then I realized that they weren’t as opposed as I originally thought. Its kind of like a slackline–its not so tight that its a tight rope, but its not so loose that it lies on the ground either. If contentment were the entirety, then it tends to become apathy–with no drive or desire for higher or better things. If desire rules the heart, then it tends to become idolatry–where nothing is enough. When combined, like the tension of a slackline, its an optimal place to chillax in the providence of God while always looking forward to the cross before us.
So, I’m chillaxin’.
The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
Bless the Lord, O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
I’ll worship Your holy name
(“10,000 Reasons,” by Matt Redman)