Questions of the Heart

The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words,
whose voice is not heard.
Their voice goes out through all the earth,
and their words to the end of the world.
(Psalm 19:1-4)
Last weekend, I e-mailed several of my mentors and close friends from the U.S. to ask for prayer. I felt lost. Desperate. For reasons unknown, I found myself doubting and questioning the very foundations of my faith. All the apologetics training of my past seemed to dangle uselessly in front of me as I sought to confirm my own belief in God. I realized though, that by asking for prayer and by desperately searching the Scriptures for answers, I myself was refuting my own doubts. It was not that I questioned God’s existence, but that I doubted my ability to defend that position on an intellectual level. As I was discussing this with an old friend, he reminded me that my own relationship with Christ is worth far  more than any argument:
“That is one of the great things about Christianity; they can refute my creeds, my histories, and even my scriptures, but they cannot refute my personal experience with my Master. There is a quote in C.S. Lewis’ book Till We Have Faces that I love: ‘Many men have seen a man and mistaken him for a god, but no man has seen a god and believed him to be anything else.'”
And then, through the prayers and counseling of these friends, my eyes began to open. The gorgeous view of the Indian Ocean that I see every day from school, the bright orange moon glistening above the city, the sunlight glistening through the morning rain, the brilliant sunrises and sunsets each day…they scream God’s existence, grace, and love.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Frank H. says:

    Hi Abigail,

    Gary Habermas has a book called The Thomas Factor that I found helpful in dealing with doubts. Regarding the doubt subject, he also recommends Telling Yourself the Truth, but that one is more broadly about depression and other emotional problems.


  2. Frank H. says:

    BTW, The Thomas Factor is free and can be found here:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.