Today, one of the blog posts I chose to read included this:
Hebrews 11:1. “To live by faith and not by sight.” To believe in the sun even when it is not shining.
For the climate of the skies will surely change again. And HIS promises will still be true.
Even in the confusion of competing seasons
The author told her story of being diagnosed with cancer while being pregnant with her daughter, and of the simultaneous joy and grief that gripped her soul during that time. So many times in the last three months, I have found myself shaking my head in disbelief at the barrage of “stuff” that has happened in my family: two cycling accidents, multiple broken bones and surgeries, two motorcycle accidents, heart problems, strokes, illness, and now my grandma’s death. Yet, nearly as often, I find myself jabbering with excitement and enthusiasm for the work I’m doing here, the place I’m living, and the opportunity to live life in Tanzania.
And deep down, I know God is in control of the craziness my family is going through. Back in 2004, when my beautiful black Labrador, Maggie, was hit by a car and killed, I had just finished memorizing Psalm 119. I still remember sitting on the couch, with tears running down my face and the anger and questions and blame waging war on my broken heart and turning back to Psalm 119:68, where the psalmist, in the midst of a tribute to God’s law, takes time to stop and acknowledge the goodness of God:
You are good and do good… (Psalm 119:68a)
As a teen discovering grief for the first time, that first comforted me and gave me strength. Years later, when I broke up with my first “real” boyfriend, I went back to the same verse, reminding myself that God is 100% good 100% of the time. And now, as I once again ask God “why,” I think back to that verse and thank God that He has not changed–He is still good!
In other news, I enjoyed getting to hang out with the Dreisenga family and their lovely neighbors this afternoon (see above photos). The children love the opportunity to play on the swings and trampoline, and getting their picture taken and seeing it on my phone was so exciting. I got request after request to take pictures of them, before being swarmed with children wanting to see the picture! And, I don’t mind… Tanzanian children are so beautiful!